Happy Bubble ♥

I don’t know if it’s legal here to just write down my feelings. But since my besties kinda tired of listening to what I called fights with boyfriend so yeah, I’ll just write here.

So this boyfriend-girlfriend relationship first start at May 26th. 2011 to be exact. I’m happy, sometimes, I could say. Well ya at first, he made me head over heels in love seriously. Feels like I just wanted him to be happy as the return of what he did to me. I feel like I was the luckiest girl in the world to have him by my side…

Days goes by and yep. Everyone’s change. So did he. He became so different from what I thought he was. He became so protective over me. I know it’s for my own good. But prevents me to meet my best friend is……. Yeah you know it’s sad for me. My ultimate best friend is one boy named Giovanni. I’ve been best friend with him since we were on 6th grade of elementary school. I could say that he’s like a younger brother for me. And I’m also his older sister. We love each other, yes, but only friendship love. I could guarantee.

He knows everything about me. So did I. Every time I had problems, I always talk to him. Like when my ex dumped me, I cried and he did nothing actually. He just sat beside me, and accompany me. Up until now. Every time I had fights with my boyfriend, I always run to him. I just sat beside him and cried. I’ve never cried as loud as I did in front of him in front of my boyfriend. Never. I just know that somehow my boyfriend will accuse me childish or whatever it is.

So, my boyfriend kinda not support if I go out with him that sometimes I have to lie just because I don’t want to fight with my boyfriend. So there’s one day that he knew I lied. He got so mad at me, I understand that. But telling him I went out with my best friend is also wrong. I’ve never gone out just me and him, I always went out with one of best too named Sekar. We always hang out together. There’s no point here if I have an affair or something. Besides, Gio has girlfriend too. That’s just doesn’t make sense.

And so we went to uni. To the same uni but different majority. At the first semester, it’s just fine, we went to the same building (my uni got 3 building) at the same day and ended up at the same time. So after class is over, we usually spent time watching movie or just hang out. And comes the 2nd semester. We got really different schedule&buildings. So we rarely meet up. I have to say, it’s been me all along that went out to meet him at his building. Sometimes I wish he’d send me a message telling he would come over to visit me at my building. But until today, few weeks before the 2nd semester over, he never at once do that. It’s sad, actually.

Sometimes I have to sacrifice my time. You know because I didn’t live in dormitory near uni. I took bus or train to get home every time I had classes in uni. And I didn’t live near uni too. It took 1,5 to 2 hours everyday to go to uni or to get back home. And if I went home too late, I will get home late too. For example if I come visit him after my class, I will be at home late. Every monday I end my class at 4.30. I usually visit him at his break. So it took approximately 30 minutes for me to be in his campus. And I have to take public transport first to get to bus station. It took 15 to 20 minutes. And yeah, I have to wait for the bus. And I have to walk to get to my house. Imagine how I really sacrificed my time.

And what makes it real sad is that he live in dormitory near uni. It seems like it’s not fair.

So again, we’ve almost been one year in this relationship. But for once, we never meet up at our anniversary date. NOT even ONCE. At valentine days too, I’m just happy that I think we’ll spend some time together. But then again, we just don’t celebrate it right at February 14th. At Christmas also. And again, for our one year, we just couldn’t celebrate it at the exactly 26th of May. I don’t know what you’ll feel if this happens to you.

He rarely drop me home too. It’s been me all along going to his house taking public transportation and so when I go home. He said he’s lazy to drop me or pick me. Or sometimes he said it’s traffic that makes him lazy. Or again, he said his parents didn’t allow him.

I don’t know what I suppose to feel right now. There’s a lot more things I did that I got nothing in return to be exact. It’s useless. I don’t know what I am holding on again in this relationship. I’m just tired of all of this things. I’m sick of it.